I know it's hard to go day by day with secret obsessions of OCD. I have OCD severely and I hide it constantly so I don't look stupid. I hate the feeling when I just washed my hands and I have to wash them again because I touched something dirty or shaked someone's hand. I went to therapy and got much better but now that I discontinued it, it got worse and symptoms are coming back. I hate my brain, it drives me nuts, I can't even sleep on the top of my bunk bed anymore because I can't get up the bed ladder without going up and down it atleast 10 times before actually staying up there. My family and friends can't understand why I have to do certain things or why I feel certain ways about things but I can't fix the chemical imbalance in my brain and it hurts to be suffering like this. It's scary going day by day fearing that an image, thought or something being said might scare me, I hate it. I just wish there was some way for doctors or behavorial therapists to cure OCD but there is no cure for it. Sorry if I wrote too much, It's not often I find someone who understands what OCD actually is.